The Cock Goblin Research & Safety Council

MEMORANDUM

To

Office of the Registrar, Academy of unBelievable Absurdities

From

Dr. Elmer V. Spooner, Founding Field Director

Re

Public Record award, requested corrections

Cc

Field Lexicon Committee

The Council thanks the Academy for its finding and accepts the honor on behalf of its witnesses. Before the certificate is framed, I ask that the following corrections be made.

1. The citation refers to “the North American Cock Goblin.” The Council keeps records of a recurring report pattern. It does not keep records of an animal. Please amend to read “reports attributed to the North American Cock Goblin.”
2. The citation dates our founding to 1878. The Society was formed on 14 November 1878. The Council was incorporated in 1989. These are different bodies, and the distinction has been the subject of two internal reviews. Please amend to read “the Society, formed 1878, and the Council, incorporated 1989.”
3. The Academy’s notification letter described our work as “goblin research.” The Council does not use the lowercase form. The reasons are set out in Terminology Review 7-B/1998, a copy of which is enclosed.
4. The category title, Lifetime Achievement in Public Record, is acceptable as written.
5. Please do not mail the certificate to my home. Send it to the bulletin office in Bethlehem, where it will be logged on receipt.

For the record, the Council has no adopted etymology and is constitutionally barred from adopting one. Our acceptance of this award should not be read as a position on the name.

E. V. S.
Enclosure (1)

FINDING OF THE ACADEMY

Category

Lifetime Achievement in Public Record

Recipient

Cock Goblin Research & Safety Council

Conviction

Exemplary

Thoroughness

Exemplary

Specificity

Beyond customary expectations

Endurance

Exemplary

Decision

Unanimous

Issued

12 October 2022

Office of the Registrar
Academy of unBelievable Absurdities